Famiglia Means Never Alone
by daisysakura
Summary: Lambo begins to feel depressed but doesn't know why or how to stop it. He reaches that point where he'll do anything to make the feeling go away except ask for help. With his Famiglia nowhere near, Lambo tries to end it by force. Luckily, no matter how far his family is, they are never too far away to help. Rated a strong T due to a sensitive topic. Please read and review!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: First, thanks to all those who either reviewed and/or favorited my other Lambo story. It gave me the courage to put this one up. I tried to keep the characters in, well, character but because of the topic, I think they all adapted to the situation.

Now, this one deals with the sensitive topic of attempted suicide so please consider this a trigger warning? I think that's what it's called. This will be a two or three-shot story, I haven't decided how to put up the next part yet. It starts off quite depressing but the next chapter will be a little better. Hopefully. It won't end in death, that's for sure.

I checked it over as much as I could but I know there will be mistakes. Let me know if there is something that needs some serious correcting. Also, I thank WebMD for any and all medical information so again, if there is anything that needs correcting, let me know. Please let me know what you think! Thank you!

* * *

It had been a year since the last time he'd seen Tsuna and the others; a year with only calls, texts, and video chats on special occasions such as holidays or birthdays. It had also been six months since I-Pin had left for Hong Kong which left him alone with Mama. He loved her but at fifteen years of age, Lambo wanted someone to connect with and Mama was always too busy to spare him much time; especially now that she'd started a new job.

The past few months had been nothing short of excruciating for Lambo. Physically he'd been fine, but he's been feeling sad to the extreme as his brother would say. He'll be fine then out of nowhere he'll feel this empty sensation in his chest, he wants to cry but he really doesn't understand why. It makes no sense to feel like that when there's nothing wrong.

Little by little that sadness had been growing until he felt as if he was suffocating. Then the panic attacks began and he was done trying to figure out his own emotions. He was drowning and nobody could save him. He started to distance himself from his classmates but since he didn't really have friends nobody noticed. Nobody noticed the dark circles under his eyes, the way he practically dragged himself to class or the way he secretly wanted someone to ask if he was ok.

He wanted to mention it to his brothers but he had no clue where to begin. He didn't know what was wrong or why so how would they help? They might think he was being a baby and shrug it off. That thought alone was enough to halt any cries for help. The fear of not being taken seriously was too strong; he remained silent. They would always say they love him and they'd be visiting soon but it never made him feel any better. Lambo would nod and smile then cry himself to sleep. He hated feeling like this but he had no idea how to stop it.

It had only been getting worse since then. Just a few days ago after school, Lambo had wondered if he'd feel better if he was to stop breathing. As soon as the thought had entered his mind, he'd run home and locked himself in his room until his panic attack ended. Why was he thinking like that? Where had that thought even come from?

His life wasn't perfect but he knew he had a loving family who would die for him and would more than likely freak if they knew he'd thought about…about suicide. Not that he'd ever go through with it; Lambo was not suicidal. He was the Lightning Guardian after all.

And yet, here was on the roof of his school looking at the view of the city; his thoughts swirling in some kind of dark abyss looking for an escape. Why was he crying? Where was this hurt coming from? Maybe if he jumped his mind would be set straight and he wouldn't feel so confused anymore…maybe.

When he walked inside his home later than usual, he slipped off his shoes and put on his slippers. "I'm home." He muttered knowing Mama wasn't here. That was another reason he'd stayed out till late. She'd gone out of town for the weekend not having a single clue as to how depressed Lambo was feeling. Yea, depressed. Lambo wasn't stupid, he'd researched his symptoms and this was the most logical explanation. Of course, having an idea as to what was wrong didn't mean he accepted it. He was fifteen, healthy and had everything he needed; there was no way Lambo was depressed.

Lambo walked into the kitchen to grab something to eat, knowing he hadn't had anything the entire day. _Tsuna-nii would be mad if he knew I wasn't taking good care of myself._

"It's a good thing nobody knows. It's a good thing nobody _cares_ enough to know."

Lambo angrily pulled out a bowl from a cabinet and slammed it on the counter before pulling out some leftovers from the fridge. "Stupid Lambo, of course they care. If they knew what was going on they'd fly over immediately…probably." He grumbled.

He pulled out a knife and started to chop some vegetables. Tears began to blur his vision as he began to cry once more.

 _What's wrong with me? I'm not a baby anymore, why can't I stop crying?_

He felt worthless. He felt insignificant. Lambo felt utterly miserable and just wanted it to stop. Why wouldn't it stop?

He dropped the knife when he accidentally cut his finger. Upon further inspection, he was relieved to see it wasn't too deep. Lambo grabbed a napkin and wrapped it around his injury, hoping the stinging sensation wouldn't last too long.

He looked at where he'd dropped the knife and once again his mind began to wander into dangerous territory. It wouldn't hurt that much; everything would be over before he could actually process the pain, right? Then he wouldn't be hurting, he'd be fine and he wouldn't feel like a baby. No more pain, no more crying, no more feeling empty; just peace.

Lambo slowly picked up the knife and stared at it for a few seconds before placing it against his left wrist. His mind was made up even though his thoughts were thoroughly confused. _This is how they do it in the movies, right?_

As he began to cut into his skin, blood dripping onto the floor, he remembered a movie where a character cut his wrists and died peacefully. He hadn't looked to be in pain or anything. Then Lambo froze.

He also remembered the look on the mother's face when she found the body of her son. Would Mama look like that as well? What about his brothers, would they cry?

Lambo threw the knife to the side in horror. What had he done? Lambo panicked at the blood flowing from his cut wrist; it was deep, he was going to die. He grabbed a towel and applied pressure to his wound. What had he been thinking? His family would be devastated! There was no way they would be fine if he killed himself. How could he have been willing to put them through something like that?

Lambo pulled out his cell phone from his pocket with a shaking hand, trying to hold the towel in place. He didn't even think about the number, just dialed it without thinking. It was around three in the afternoon in Italy so his brother should answer. He had to answer.

A few rings later and Lambo began to feel anxious. What if he doesn't answer? What if there's something more important than him? He had to apologize before he died. He couldn't have them blame themselves. No, he had to stop thinking so negatively. His family loved him, how could he do this to them?

" _What is it, I'm just about to meet with the council of-"_

"Tsuna-nii, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He cried into the phone. Lambo slid down against the counter, his legs not being able to support him any longer. He felt weak, he felt exhausted and worst of all he felt like giving up. If he had gotten this far then he really didn't deserve to live.

He could barely make out what his brother was saying over his sobs. _"Lambo! Lambo, please calm down and tell me what's wrong."_

Tsuna sounded concerned. Hell, he sounded terrified and it was all Lambo's fault. The teen clutched the phone against his ear, not able to form any coherent words as he continued to cry as if in agony. Which he was, he was in complete agony; mentally and physically.

" _Call Kyoya; now!"_

Lambo heard Tsuna order someone, probably Gokudera. Forcing himself to calm down, Lambo tried once again to speak, "Tsuna-nii, I'm sorry for worrying you. I'm sorry for everything." He managed between pitiful sobs.

" _Lambo, what happened? Are you ok? Is it mom? Where are you?"_

Of course he'd think somebody was hurt. Which, looking at the now soaked towel, Tsuna wasn't wrong. "Mama went out with her friends. I'm at home but I'm ok now."

" _Then tell me why I don't believe you."_ Lambo heard his brother tell someone to let Kyoya know that Lambo was at home. _"Please, tell me what's wrong."_

Lambo cried again, feeling a bit lightheaded as he tried to explain everything he's been feeling for the last several months. "I'm sad. I'm so sad and I don't know why Tsuna-nii. There's something wrong with me. I can't stop this empty feeling from trying to drown me."

Lambo broke down. He looked to the left and eyed the knife once more. It would be so easy…"Tsuna-nii, I want to stop feeling like this. I don't want to feel like a burden anymore."

" _You're not a burden, you're our brother."_

Tsuna spoke firmly and Lambo remembered why he'd follow him to the ends of the earth. "Tsuna-nii, I can make it go away, all of it. " He whispered; he wasn't thinking straight anymore. The blood loss and suffering was driving him to the edge and Lambo was scared. He was terrified he wouldn't be able to stop himself.

" _Lambo, I need you to be strong. I need you to be my guardian right now, you swore to give me your life, remember? Your life…it's mine. You do not have permission to take it away from me."_

Tsuna was right. After everything they'd gone through Lambo owed them his life and so much more. But he was drowning; he was too far gone to stop now, wasn't he?

"I didn't think about Mama, I don't want her to be the one to find me."

" _Lambo, you will be fine. You will not die and that is an order. Do you understand?"_

Tsuna said in a calm and steady voice but Lambo could hear the fear behind his words. He was scared and they both knew it.

"I don't even know why I did it. I just wanted it to stop but I didn't think about my family. I'm such a terrible person…"

" _No, you're not. Lambo, listen to me,"_ Tsuna was practically begging. _"We need you. I need you. Whatever you're thinking of doing, don't. Please, please don't give up."_

"My own parents didn't want me and all I've been to you is a failure. It makes sense you would leave me too." He leaned his head back, closing his eyes. "It hurts."

Tsuna continued to talk but Lambo had stopped listening. His arm felt numb and he was getting weaker by the minute. "I'm sorry."

Lambo dropped the phone when the front door was kicked in, the loud noise startling him.

" _Lambo? Lambo, are you there?"_

Lambo watched as two men made their way into the kitchen, looking like they were about to go into battle. It took him a second to recognize them. "Kusakabe-san..." He weakly whispered to the first one. He felt whatever blood he had left go cold when the second man became visible. Hibari did not look happy at all. He looked ready to commit murder with Lambo as the most likely victim.

Kusakabe assessed the situation and seemed to immediately understand what was going on. He hurried to Lambo's side and gently pulled off the towel to inspect the damage while Hibari picked up the forgotten phone.

"He'll live." Was all he said before ending the call. Lambo wasn't sure if that was for Tsuna's comfort or an order for himself. He glared at Lambo then waited patiently as Kusakabe checked their youngest member over. Kusakabe didn't look at Lambo with anger or anything really. He hurriedly walked to one of the cabinets and pulled out a first aid kit then knelt in front of Lambo once more.

"I'm going to put a temporary bandage on it but we have to take you to the hospital. It doesn't look too deep but we need to make sure. We also have to make sure it won't get infected and you look a little pale."

Lambo knew the older man was trying to make him feel better by not scaring him but the small pool of blood said things were definitely not going well. He was too weak to protest and simply nodded. Kusakabe helped him into the back of his car, sitting next to him while Hibari drove them to the closest hospital.

"Can't Shamal look at me?"

"He's not in Japan at the moment."

Well, that explained the trip to the hospital. Lambo blinked once, then twice. "Kusakabe-san, tell my brothers I'm sorry…" He managed to murmur before passing out.

* * *

Twenty-four hours. It had been almost twenty-four hours since that…incident. Lambo had woken up in a bright hospital room, his wrist treated and bandaged. A lady had been seated near his bed and it hadn't taken long to understand the severity of the situation. He'd tried to kill himself.

He wasn't in denial, he'd known what he was doing but thankfully his family looking devastated had stopped him from finishing the job.

He'd been greatly disappointed to know his family wasn't with him but the doctor explained he couldn't have visitors until twenty-four hours had passed and after he'd been evaluated. He had smiled when she told him about the young men who'd barged in and wouldn't leave the hospital until they'd seen their brother. They were just a floor below actually.

After answering a bunch of questions that really bothered Lambo, the doctor had finally left but not before promising another evaluation later. Once that was done, the doctor had shared her diagnosis. He'd never heard of dysthymia but his symptoms all led to that little word. It seemed there was something making him feel the way he'd been feeling but they couldn't say for sure what that was; something about abnormal functioning in brain circuits, nerve cell pathways or some other stuff. There was a treatment for it and while Lambo agreed to the psychotherapy he refused to take any drugs. The doctor said she'd discuss it with his parents –as if- and they would go from there. She left after saying he could see his family once the twenty-four hours had passed.

Now he was here; waiting anxiously for his brothers to come in. The nurse had just explained to him that his family had been told they could come up and would be arriving shortly. Lambo had never felt this nervous. He had a feeling his brothers would be mad at him. He just knew they wouldn't want to be anywhere close to him.

He was so lost in thought he didn't hear the soft knock or the door opening. His hands were shaking terribly when he watched his big brother come in. He was hoping all of them would come running to see how he was but when only Tsuna walked in, he felt his eyes water. He couldn't blame them for not wanting to see him.

"I'm sorry for being selfish but I asked the others to wait out in the hallway so I could see you first," Tsuna said as if reading his mind. The Vongola boss looked terrible. He looked exhausted and his eyes were red and puffy. It had been a long time since he'd seen his big brother openly cry yet Lambo had made his big brother do so with one simple action. "Hi."

The young guardian started to cry and barely registered Tsuna pulling him into a tight hug. His brother's embrace felt safe. It made him feel like everything would be fine and Lambo knew it would. Tsuna had always been able to make him feel better, even now.

"I'm sorry Tsuna-nii, I'm so sorry." Lambo bawled and for once didn't care if he was seen as a baby.

Tsuna held him tighter and Lambo could just make out the soft cries his boss was making. His brother was shaking but it was obvious he was trying to be strong and Lambo loved him even more.

"No, I'm sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am but we'll talk about that once you've had some more rest, ok?"

Lambo nodded. After a few minutes of crying Tsuna backed away, wiping his eyes. The boss sat near his guardian's side, holding his hand gently but firmly; a silent promise of never letting go.

"I want you to know we're here for you. Nobody is mad at you and we're not going to abandon you. We love you and in no shape or form are we going to let you deal with this on your own, understood?"

Tsuna handed him some tissue which Lambo used to wipe his snot away. "Understood, Tsuna-nii."

"Good. Now, are you up for some visitors?" He asked with a warm smile. Oh, how Lambo had missed that smile.

Tsuna had said they weren't mad at him but the way Hibari had looked at him back home told Lambo at least one of them was. After a small nod of consent, Tsuna walked out of the room to bring their family in. Lambo could only hope they would forgive him.

* * *

2nd A/N: Wow, I think this was the most heart I've ever put into a story. I was feeling pretty down when I started writing this but not once did I feel like ending it all. If you or anyone you know does feel this way…please get help and know you're not alone. I may not be much but I'm here rooting for you. Honestly, I am.

Next chapter coming soon but don't expect it this week. Stay safe this Halloween! Don't forget to review! Let me know your thoughts! It'll help me with the next chapter.


	2. Chapter 2

Welcome to Lambo's Corner! Yea, I decided to give Lambo his own corner since most stories I post will revolve around him. Thank you so much to my reviewers, your words helped me finish this mini-monster. Thank you!

So it took me awhile but I'm finally posting the next and final chapter of Famiglia Means Never Alone. I was going to split this into two chapters but I figured what the heck, you're here because you like reading, right?

Without further ado, here it is. Please let me know what you think!

Update: Jan. 15, 2017 Minor errors and added some extra dialogue.

* * *

Chrome held back a sigh as her brothers up front initiated another argument. She, along with Gokudera, Yamamoto and Tsuna, were on their way to meet with a recently established group that had been created to keep Italy's crime families under control as well as accountable for their transgressions. So far they had been doing what they said they'd do; Vongola support may have had something to do with their success.

They held meetings every three months unless problems brought them together before then; as was the situation at the moment. Tsuna had been called to discuss Mukuro's last mission which had left more than a few people semi-dead. Their hearts still beat but their minds may or may not have been left frozen in fear. Normally it wouldn't have mattered but the men had been government officials; corrupt but government nonetheless.

Now they were on their way to meet with the Council of Peaceful Structure, or COPS for short, and they were all feeling a bit uneasy. While it had nothing to do with the meeting itself, it was certainly not helping. The last few months had been hectic to say the least and while nobody had mentioned it, stress levels were at an all-time high.

The problem was that Chrome had no idea why. Sure, their lives weren't easy but she'd never felt like this for no apparent reason. There were days she felt an unexplainable pang in her chest with no obvious excuse for it. Then just as it had arrived it would leave. It was rather annoying.

"Chrome, are you alright?"

Tsuna's voice reached her ears; she turned to face her beloved brother who sat next to her. "Bossu?"

"You seem distracted."

She blushed as she realized he'd been looking at her. Even after all these years she was still easily embarrassed at the thought of people watching her for any amount of time. "I-I'm ok."

Before Tsuna could ask anything further, the car came to a halt at their destination. "We're here, Juudaime."

The four of them began to exit the vehicle when Tsuna's phone rang. Chrome kept her eye on her surroundings as he answered; making sure the area was safe for the Vongola boss as did the others.

"It's Lambo," He muttered more to himself. Something in her chest tightened at the name of their youngest guardian. She couldn't remember the last time she'd seen the teen, she should call him later.

"What is it? I'm just about to meet with the council of-" Chrome felt that all familiar pang as Tsuna's face paled. She went to his side as Gokudera and Yamamoto did the same while still looking out for trouble. They could hear Lambo's cries over the phone; his pain obvious.

"Lambo! Lambo, please calm down and tell me what's wrong."

This wasn't the first time Lambo had called crying, far from it. He would call to cry about the typical kids being mean at school, his favorite snack being discontinued or having fallen from his bike; it wasn't unusual. Today, however, Chrome knew this was different. This was something bad and she was afraid to find out why.

"Call Kyoya; now!"

Tsuna ordered Gokudera who had already started dialing. Yamamoto quickly made his way to the driver's seat before Tsuna had even turned to the car. Once they were inside, he made a sharp turn and drove back to their estate. Something was undoubtedly wrong.

"Lambo, what happened? Are you ok? Is it mom? Where are you?"

"Let Ryohei know what's going on. Tell him to book an immediate flight for us; we're on our way to pick them up." Yamamoto said. It was clear to see she wasn't the only one to know this was a dire situation. The normally calm guardian was tense, his hands white against the steering wheel.

Chrome took out her phone to text Ryohei who was waiting back home with Mukuro.

 **Lambo's in trouble. Please book a flight for all of us; on our way home.**

She held the device tightly in her trembling hands. _Please be ok._

" _He'll be fine, Chrome. He's Vongola after all."_

Not for the first time, she was thankful she didn't have to voice her worries for Mukuro to know she was feeling anxious. Before she could offer her thanks, her phone vibrated. She looked down to see Ryohei's response.

 ** _EXTREMELY finished. I'm pulling out everyone's emergency overnight bags. Do we know anything?_**

Chrome looked back to Tsuna. He looked to be on the verge of a nervous breakdown but was trying to keep himself in control. What he said next confirmed her suspicions of it being a dire sitution.

"Lambo, I need you to be strong. I need you to be my guardian right now, you swore to give me your life, remember? Your life…it's mine. You do not have permission to take it away from me."

 **It's bad.**

She looked to the front where a furious Gokudera was telling Hibari to hurry and help. At Tsuna's last words, the bomber's hands tightened around his phone, he seemed to have reached the same conclusion as she.

"He'll be fine. Lambo will be fine, you'll see."

Yamamoto's words normally encouraged them, made them feel better but it didn't work when he didn't believe them himself. They reached the estate in record time, Ryohei and Mukuro already standing by the limo.

"Lambo? Lambo, are you there?"

They all climbed inside; the driver quickly pulling out of the long driveway and into the street. Tsuna pulled his phone away before putting it in his pocket. "Kyoya is there. He said Lambo will be fine." Nobody questioned his words, not when it was taking all Tsuna had to believe them.

The ride to the airport was short and quiet. The trip to Japan was long and quiet. Even though they had first-class to themselves, they sat doing nothing. Nobody knew what to say either; words weren't going to do anything. When Kusakabe called to let them know Lambo's condition, everyone had shut down. Their youngest guardian, their baby brother had tried to kill himself.

While they'd been in Italy trying to save people, Lambo had been alone trying to save himself. Today that fight had almost ended. Tsuna had gone to the bathroom; they pretended not to hear his anguished cries. Chrome was openly crying, Mukuro by her side; Yamamoto tried to comfort a tearful Ryohei while Gokudera sat by himself, not wanting to be near anyone.

They made it to the hospital where Kusakabe and Hibari had requested a private family waiting room. Nobody was allowed to see Lambo until after a 24-hour observation period so they would have to wait until then to see for themselves that their baby brother was indeed fine.

Chrome sat on one of the sofas, Mukuro next to her, both having a view of everyone there. Yamamoto, Gokudera, Ryohei sat on the couch across the door as if waiting to run out any moment. Hibari stood with Kusakabe off to a corner, away from everyone and Mama was crying in a chair as Lemitsu stood behind her. She seemed to be taking it the hardest since she'd been the one living with him. Her guilt was overwhelming. So much so that Lemitsu suggested some time away to clear her head.

"Nobody brings it up."

The sudden sound startled Chrome from her thoughts. She looked to where Tsuna was standing by the window; his face grim. "Lambo will feel guilty enough, nobody mentions this to him. We forget this happened and move on." His tone left no room for argument. The others looked a bit unsure but nobody dared to go against Boss' wish.

The door suddenly opened, Lambo's doctor walking inside with a slight smile. Hayashi Mika was in her late thirties; hazel eyes, brown shoulder length hair and a look that dared anyone to mess with her. "I see everyone's still here. I hope you at least ate something."

Tsuna was by her side in an instant. "Doctor Hayashi, how is he?"

"He'll be fine. After talking to him, I don't think he's in any danger of trying again." The relieved sighs were expected. "I believe he suffers from dysthymia which is a fancy word for mild or chronic depression."

"You think this was _mild_?" Gokudera asked through clenched teeth. Tsuna held a hand up, silencing his right-hand man.

"Yes," She answered not the least intimidated. "As I said, after talking to him I have an idea of how long this has been going on which leads me to believe it's only mild. People with dysthymia have been known to experience moments of major depression which is what caused Lambo to try suicide. Luckily, his love for his family stopped him in time."

The severity of the situation was not lost on anyone. Lambo came close to ending his life; this was more than a wake-up call.

"We understand. I just find it hard to believe this all happened because he was depressed."

"Don't take depression lightly, Sawada-san. If left untreated, well, you can see what it can lead to. Nobody knows why it affects people or how to prevent it but there is treatment available. There is no sudden cure but with some psychotherapy and antidepressants he should be fine."

"Lambo won't take the drugs," Gokudera stated from behind Tsuna.

"That's what he said but I strongly recommend he take some. I can prescribe a low dose of one that-"

"Thank you but we'll respect his wishes. Besides, he won't be alone anymore; he has his family. I'll find someone he can talk to and we'll go from there."

The doctor knew that was the end of this conversation. Just from looking at this group, she knew Lambo would be well taken care of. With a sigh of resignation she nodded. "Ok, I'll have a nurse escort you to his room. He's obviously nervous about facing you after what's happened; leave the serious talk for later."

A few minutes later, they were taken to another floor then led to Lambo's room. His door was closed but his anxiousness was practically seeping out. Tsuna reached for the door knob but stopped before opening it. He looked back at his family.

"Please give us a couple of minutes."

As much as they all wanted to see Lambo, it was obvious Tsuna needed this. Without hesitation, they all nodded. Once he had gone inside, Chrome looked at her other siblings. Knowing Lambo would be fine had lifted a heavy burden off them and it was obvious to see; now they would help him get better and make sure he never has to face something like this again.

"Kufufu."

"Mukuro-sama, I think it's too soon to be laughing." She whispered, knowing Gokudera would not hesitate to throw a stick of dynamite at Mukuro.

The Mist Guardian looked at his group of acquaintances. "I wonder who'll get thrown out a window when Reborn finds out nobody took the time to inform him of the situation."

* * *

Lambo woke with a gasp, sitting up in his bed. He was trembling and his heart felt as if it would explode from how fast it was beating. He pulled his knees towards his chest and rested his forehead on them; he'd had too many panic attacks and easily recognized them by now.

' _Deep breaths; deep breaths and relax. Come on, I can do this.'_

After a few minutes, his breathing slowed as well as the beating of his heart. Lambo stretched out his legs and fell back onto his pillow with a sigh. It had been three days since he'd been released from the hospital, five since the incident and boy how he wished it had all been a dream.

Looking up at the glow-in-dark stars on his ceiling, he tried to hold back the tears but of course, it was hopeless. He still wasn't sure what was going on with him even though the doctor had tried to explain but luckily his brothers seemed to have understood a lot better. Lambo closed his watering eyes at the thought of his brothers.

None of them had brought up his suicide attempt and did whatever they could to act as if everything was fine. They avoided the subject like he avoided vegetables which only worried him. It was obvious they were angry at him for doing what he did and by not mentioning it they could pretend it didn't happen.

The problem was that Lambo _wanted_ to talk about it, he wanted them to accept it and help him move on; he wanted their forgiveness most of all. Maybe if he spoke with them they would…Lambo shook his head. That would just break the illusion that everything was fine. He wiped the tears away before rolling on his side. That was the problem, though, it was all just an illusion; nothing was fine.

Lambo groaned then sat back up. The clock on his dresser said it was half-past two in the morning so everyone should be asleep by now. By everyone he meant Tsuna and Ryohei as everyone else was staying at Gokudera's place with the exception of Chrome who was with Kyoko and of course, Hibari was in his own place. They hadn't wanted to crowd the teen so this arrangement had been made.

That day in the hospital, they had all shown signs of crying but nobody addressed the reason and had simply asked how he was feeling; as if he'd had the flu or something. Hibari had merely walked in then left without a greeting; that wasn't acknowledged either.

Mama had stayed a bit longer then left with the excuse that Lemitsu was taking her away for just a few days. Lambo couldn't and wouldn't blame her for running away. She didn't know how to handle this kind of situation so distancing herself probably seemed to be the best thing for him.

Then there was I-Pin, bless her. She had booked a flight and would have flown to Japan by herself if Fon hadn't stopped her. She was in the middle of important exams and Lambo wouldn't have forgiven himself if she'd fallen behind on her schoolwork as well as her training. He'd asked Fon to keep her there and I-Pin had reluctantly agreed with the condition of mandatory video chats every single day; Non-negotiable.

So here he was, alone with his two brothers and not a clue as to how to talk to them. His stomach grumbled, letting him know he needed something aside from the small dinner he'd had earlier. Yamamoto had made an amazing dinner for everyone but Lambo had felt too uncomfortable to eat so he'd only had a few bites. Everyone had looked happy but it was obviously forced and he hated it. He'd excused himself and nobody had tried to stop him. He wished they'd had, he had still been hungry.

Lambo shook his head, he was such an idiot. If he wasn't happy with how things were going then he should say something. Not saying anything about how he was feeling was what had gotten him here in the first place. That settled it; he would tell his brothers in the morning but first, he needed food. With his mind made up, he slipped on his slippers and quietly made his way into the hallway and towards the stairs but froze when he thought he heard something. He could hear voices and he realized his brothers hadn't fallen asleep as he'd thought.

As quietly as possible he walked to the end of the hallway and stopped when he could make out what they were saying. It was definitely Ryohei and Tsuna but there was also somebody else; somebody that hadn't been at the hospital because he'd been on a mission across the globe.

 _'Guess he's finally back.'_

"I should have paid more attention to him. If I had I would have realized something was wrong and this would never have happened."

Of course, they were talking about him; he was the main topic whenever he wasn't around it seemed.

"It might have happened regardless; you heard what the doctor said. He couldn't control his emotions going extremely haywire."

"But I would have _been_ there. He wouldn't have been alone to deal with whatever was going on."

"And you think this is your fault."

Reborn stated with…amusement? Lambo frowned. How could Reborn find this funny when his life had been at stake? Sure, he was fine now but still.

"Of course it is, he's my responsibility and I left him with Mom. She has her own life; I can't expect her to take care of my problems for me anymore."

Problems? Lambo was a problem for his brother. He knew he'd pulled them away from important Mafia business, knew he was wasting their time with his selfishness but to hear his big brother whom he respected and loved very much address him as such hurt; a lot.

"And I don't want her to either. Lambo's my problem, I want to take care of him myself."

Lambo perked up at this but then frowned. Did he _want_ Lambo or not? Not for the first time, Lambo wondered why his family always appeared to make things more difficult than they should be. He flinched when he heard a loud smack followed by a groan from Tsuna.

"Dame-Tsuna, you're not a kid anymore, why are you still stupid?" Reborn paused and Lambo leaned a bit closer. "Have you told the idiot cow this?"

"Well, no. I don't want to bring this up and make him feel worse. He just got out of this and talking about what he did might cause him to shut us out again."

"You should have a bit more faith in your guardians. Lambo knows he can depend on you, he won't shut you out."

So that's why they hadn't brought it up. And here he was thinking they were angry; angry at him like he was at himself. He'd caused them so many problems since the day he'd met them and now he had hurt them in one of the worst ways possible. He felt his heart ache, tears forming in in his eyes again; he tried not to make a sound. He didn't deserve such a loving family but he had them; Lambo wouldn't let that love go to waste. Wiping his eyes, he froze at the realization that nobody was talking anymore.

"Lambo?"

Damn, he'd been caught. Oh well, might as well face the music now. Lambo looked down the stairs and watched Tsuna worriedly stare back. The Vongola boss was in his sweats and t-shirt looking nothing like he usually did while in his suit. He looked miserable actually. The sight of his big brother made him want to cry again. Tsuna had left Italy to take care of him; Lambo had to be strong for him. Even though it would be difficult to talk about it, he would do so and his family would be able to start to heal. He wasn't the only one that had been hurt after all.

"Tsu-Tsuna-nii…I'm sorry." Well, he'd tried to be strong. Lambo ran down the steps and jumped into his brother's arms. "I tried to kill myself. I was feeling weak and pathetic and alone. I didn't want to be a bother but I needed you all so bad. I had no idea what I was feeling or how to stop it so I tried to take the easiest way out and almost lost my family forever. I'm sorry I hurt you, I'm sorry for causing you so many problems.

"Please forgive me, Tsuna-nii. Please say you'll forgive me and give me another chance to be a good guardian and brother." Lambo buried his crying face into his big brother's chest, not wanting to look up at Tsuna for fear of seeing anything but acceptance.

Tsuna tightly wrapped his arms around his little brother. "Lambo, there's nothing to-"

"Yes, there is! Please don't treat this like it's nothing. I did something terrible and I hurt my family in the process. Please, please don't say it's nothing when I almost died."

Lambo felt Tsuna tense and he worried he might have said the wrong thing. Perhaps he should have just stayed quite. After several seconds, Tsuna gently pushed Lambo away but kept his hands on the teen's shoulders. His eyes had gone from the gentle brown they usually were to the amber Lambo knew meant business.

"You're right. You tried to take away someone that means the world to me. You tried to not only take away my guardian but my little brother as well. You hurt me and you hurt your family by hurting yourself. I'm furious that you didn't ask for help. I would have been here in an instant if you had told me what was going on, I'm sure you know that. So, how can I forgive someone that tried to take away my brother? The answer is I wouldn't. I would _never_ forgive them."

At his words, Lambo began to sob uncontrollably; his body trembling. This is what Tsuna was really feeling. Lambo couldn't blame him for not forgiving him; he deserved this.

"Tsuna-" Reborn held Ryohei back. He knew this had to happen in order for them to move on, in order for them to heal.

"Lambo, look at me."

Lambo hadn't realized he'd closed his eyes; he shook his head then tried to pull away from his big brother.

"Lambo, I'm not letting you go; now, look. At. Me."

Against his better judgment, Lambo opened his eyes and had to blink at what he saw. Tsuna was crying. The Vongola boss was crying; tears shamelessly streaming down his face.

"But I forgive _you_ ," He said with a slightly tearful but sincere smile. "I forgive you because you're my brother; my beloved lightning guardian whom I love so much." He said as he ran a hand through Lambo's hair. "There is no way I wouldn't be able to forgive you because that's what family does. This is what a big brother is supposed to do. I love you, Lambo. And that will never change no matter what you do."

Lambo knew his brother loved him but to hear him say it and with such sincerity, the teen's heart just about burst with joy. Before he could think to hug Tsuna, the boss pulled him into a firm embrace.

"But I want you to understand something," Tsuna closed his eyes. "I want you to understand just how much this hurt me, how much this hurt everyone. We almost lost you and we wouldn't have even known why. We spoke almost on a daily basis but you never said anything. I have my intuition but I'm not psychic. I _need_ you to tell me when there is something bothering you; talk to me. If I don't know what's going on I can't help you."

Lambo felt shame and guilt. He knew his brother would have helped but he'd been too stubborn to ask. That was something he didn't want to do again.

"I want you to promise me, _promise_ _me_ you will come to any of us the next time you feel like this or for whatever you need. If I'm not here, you still have our whole family plus Dino, my dad, even Verde. We're here for you so talk to us."

"I promise."

Lambo sobbed, hugging Tsuna and hoping he could convey his feelings through it. There, they both cried, letting their pain and frustration out; just how they should have from the very beginning.

After several minutes, they finally pulled away. Both had tears and snot all over but they didn't care. They smiled at each other and knew things could finally start getting better. Tsuna accepted the tissue Ryohei offered just as Lambo did; the youngest of his guardians looking slightly better now that he'd gotten everything off his chest.

Lambo looked at Ryohei, giving him quiet thanks. "Ryo-nii, I'm sorry to you too." He apologized, his voice slightly hoarse after all his crying.

Before he could say anything more, the teen was engulfed in a tight hug. Although, Lambo was sure this was more of a bear hug which would kill him if not released soon.

"I EXTREMELY forgive you, Lambo! I will always be here for you so don't worry about anything! We'll EXTREMELY never abandon you no matter what you do." Ryohei put Lambo, who was now turning blue, down. There were only a few times when Ryohei got serious outside of a fight and this was one of them. "But this is to not happen again. We'll be here for you so it doesn't."

"Got it, Ryo-nii." Lambo looked at Reborn next and took a deep breath. "I'm not wasting an apology on you, stupid Reborn." He had barely started to laugh when Lambo was thrown to the ground, a gun pointed at his head.

"Try to leave us again and you'll deeply regret it. If you thought this Famiglia, your Famiglia, would keep functioning as it is without you then remember this," Reborn had rested his foot on Lambo's chest at that point, "It wouldn't. We need you, got that? I'll train your sorry ass until suicide is never again an option in your life."

Lambo stared up in surprise before smiling at the man. Leave it to Reborn to not take it easy on him. Not only that but Reborn, the world's greatest sadist, eh, hitman, had offered a compliment. To Lambo! He was ecstatic!

"I got it, I got it. Now get off, you're not as light like when you were a baby."

Once off, Reborn helped Lambo to his feet. "I take it there was a reason you were eavesdropping?"

At that moment, Lambo's stomach grumbled, causing him to blush and the others to laugh.

"You left without eating much again, let me EXTREMELY heat you some leftovers."

"Thanks, Ryo-nii."

"And from now on, you're not leaving the table until all your food is EXTREMELY gone," He added before heading into the kitchen.

Lambo made to follow after the boxer but turned to face Tsuna before continuing. "Tsuna-nii, will the others forgive me as well?"

Tsuna smiled. "They've already forgiven you but I'm sure they'd love for you to talk to them again."

"Ok!"

"Kyoya might bite you to death, though, he was hurting as much as we were but since he can't cry he'll use violence to feel better."

Lambo gulped. "Psycho-nii's forgiveness will be the most painful to receive."

"Don't worry, I'll keep you safe from Psycho-nii," Tsuna stated with confidence as he rested a hand on Lambo's shoulder. Lambo looked up at his big brother and smiled. Tsuna would definitely keep him safe.

"I'll make sure he just nibbles you to death."

"Tsuna-nii…"

Lambo knew it would be awhile before they could leave this behind them and even longer to get over the pain but they would do it. They were Vongola after all. They could get through anything and everything as long as they had each other. Lambo now knew for sure that he was never alone and he never would be.

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Ta-da! So, please leave a review? I like knowing what you liked or disliked and what I can work on. It definitely helps me with future stories. Hint, hint. That is all for today but I hope to have a new story soon here in Lambo's Corner!


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